The World Hates Ugly People

The next time someone asks you to live long enough to blow a thousand candles, shoot them.

Old age sucks. When you are a 99-year-old, toothless, has-been snoring in the backyard in diapers, everyone, including yourself, starts wondering what the heck you are still doing around here.

You can’t enjoy a cigarette. A stiff shot of whisky would send you straight to the morgue. You have no teeth for chewing fatty roast meat. And the young pretty lass with a firm behind walking down the road could as well be a goat. Of what use is life then?

But in the unfortunate event that you live that long, and assuming that you retain a brain cell or two for memory, you will discover there are four things you haven’t seen: An ugly bride, an ugly baby, an ugly pastor and an ugly president.

We hate ugly people. That is the truth. You will never hear it whispered in a church, mosque or witchdoctor’s hut, but humanity discriminates against ugly people more than it scorns (at least in Africa) gays, women, integrity and clean public toilets.

Have you ever seen women swooning around an ugly baby, posing for photos, giving it lipstick-coloured double pecks and perfumed hugs?

I suspect ugly babies are hidden from sight, in the manner children with severe disability are tucked away in the darkest room of the house and only whispered about.

It isn’t that easy to make an ugly baby anyway. Boys in the estate don’t hover around the gate where the worst-looking broad in the neighbourhood lives. They don’t chase her like a pack of salivating wolves, even if she has a brain the size of a tractor engine.

Even before the Stone Age, it was always that girl with sleepy eyes. The one with juicy lips. The one with long legs, a sculpted butt and breasts so full they were to blame for all the bent lampposts on the road. All of the 40 boys in the estate would go chasing Sheila everywhere, but not that sorry-looking lass who was christened Anaconda by her daft mum after something she saw on television.

Go back to your school days. Teachers pet, remember? He or she was always tiny and so pretty or handsome it hurt. They always smelt fresh, even after fooling around on the pitch after school break. Clean clothes, fresh breath, not a hair out of place. Oooh, how Teacher loved them!

Students who think journalism is modelling should quit the profession

Kenyan students who enroll in tertiary colleges countrywide have not been performing well in the industry for taking the course for fun and comparing it to modelling.

The students believe journalism should be studied as the last option when all other careers such as medicine and engineering which are termed as the best professions become difficult to attain cut marks.

Kenya Television Network Chief Investigative Editor Muhamed Ali said he is worried on the future of journalism profession as people keep turning it into entertainment industry instead of using it to present serious ideas that transform the lives of citizens.

"I am scared with the way people are turning media into a showbiz as celebrities are now the upcoming Journalists and beautiful ladies are perceived to fit the industry," Ali reiterated.

Muhamed expressed his disappointments in the way journalists ask odd questions when interviewing persons who deal with criminal activities and extra judicial killings in the country.

Parenthood not an obstacle to career success

Nation Television News Anchor Jamila Muhamed challenge Moi University students after disclosing that she is a mother of five and secured her job in 2002 at the station with a secondary school certificate

Welcome to the appositive society

By Matt Son Sang

 

I

 wonder why we have this for real,

What please is the real deal?

The truth is shocking; mocking indeed this is a real grill.

Welcome to the appositive society, you will feel the ‘thrill’.

W

elcome to the appositive society,

Where ladies, like projects, have sponsors,

Where movies with sex scenes are considered to be from real actors,

Where men are enormously signing contracts with ‘mafisi Sacco’ sectors,

Welcome to the appositive society, you will feel the ‘thrill’.

W

elcome to the appositive society,

Where




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Why Christians and Muslims marriages will never work

 By Kiprono Willy

When I think about Christians and Muslims marrying each other, the only thing that comes to mind is trouble. Yes we are both human beings and love is blind, but really religion has become something that prevents two people in love from getting married.
I have heard of cases from women who want to be disowned by the parents simply because the woman is in love with a Christian man and vice versa. Trying to choose between your parents and the person you love and want to marry can be a quite a dilemma.
Christians have their own beliefs and so do Muslims. Trying to mix the two is like oil and water; one will always be at the top and the other one at the bottom. The problem usually comes when the man asks the woman to convert and be of the other religion. I don’t understand why I should change my religion for the name of loving someone.
Take this scenario; Muslim man marries a Christian woman but both retain their own religion.  Will the parents agree to this 100 percent? Will the man and the woman allow their children to choose the religion they want? In my opinion, I believe that would not work at all.
Mtoto umleavyo ndivyo akuavyo. If you were brought up a Christian or Muslim, why change your faith after falling in love with someone? Why try to please other people and lose your faith? That is simply absurd.
I believe, as much as most of you would disagree, that most Muslim and Christian marriages don’t work out well.  For the Christian and Muslim lovers out there, all I can say is that I wish you all the best of luck, but just remember that your relationship will not be a bed of roses because you will have to work really hard to keep it.(courtesy of ureport)

Sponsors are father-figures to us — University girls

 

 By Kiprono Willy

“You are either a sponsor or no one”, that’s the new mantra by which most university students are living by, and they are loving it.
As testament that the ‘sponsor thing’ has gone viral, a week will hardly pass by without jaw-dropping incidences linked to this new craze — it’s leaving behind a trail of destruction.
Guns have even been drawn, shots fired and people have lost their lives!
For campus girls, having a sponsor is almost becoming a basic need.
“It’s not a bad idea to have one, considering the broke life many lead in campus. Money is a rumour. Life here is hell,” says Anne, a student from Moi University in Eldoret.
The education student adds: “Some of us are not government-sponsored students, which means you have to depend on your parents. It’s worse if your parents are poor. How do you girls to cope in college?”
Asked if she would get a sponsor, the 22-year-old said: “If I get one... why not? After all, relationships in campus are just a waste of time. Those young kids we call boyfriends are just a waste of time!”
Yusele Lowa, a 20-year-old public relations student at the Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology says: “Most of the girls I know have their campus guys for real love, but will also have a sponsor for money.”
According to Yusele, a sponsor is not necessarily a boyfriend — his work is to make the girl happy by spoiling her with gifts without complaining or setting tough conditions. Some students however seek sponsors hoping for emotional support.
“These little boys in campus take too long to mature. They don’t understand women. That’s why I date older men,” says a student who declined to be named.
Psychologist Niceta Ireri says that, “Some girls are simply hunting for a father-figure in their lives; a man to give them fatherly love.”
She adds that, “Some of these girls are seeking psychological satisfaction, they are looking for someone to talk to as most of their age mates - of the opposite sex - are lost in drugs and can’t lend them an ear.”
 Courtesy of Campus Vibe

A university student committed suicide in Migori after losing Sh80,000 in football bets. The Kenyatta University student was found hanging behind his mother’s house in Ondome, Uriri on Wednesday.

Read more at: file:///C:/Users/student/Downloads/jjj.htm

A university student committed suicide in Migori after losing Sh80,000 in football bets. The Kenyatta University student was found hanging behind his mother’s house in Ondome, Uriri on Wednesday.

Read more at: file:///C:/Users/student/Downloads/jjj.htm