5 reasons why teachers make the best wife materials

BY MATT SON SANG

Listen: It's time to start dating a teacher.

Teachers are regarded as one of the top professions to date. A decision on who will be your wife solely depends on your taste, but I’m worried this information may make you change your mind. Nurses, lawyers, bankers, secretaries and other categories of women can make good wives but not as much as a teacher can. Here are a few other reasons why trying to make a teacher your main squeeze should be one of your major goals.

1.     They're pretty damn selfless.

Teachers are known to be givers. Leave alone the delivery of content to students; they have an extended generosity beyond that. Teachers not only want to mold young minds, but they also want to give to others. Givers are, of course, fairly selfless people. Relationships are a give and take that should probably involve more giving than taking, and you're bound to get a lot of that with a teacher. Yes, this transcends to the bedroom as well.

2.      You're liable to learn something new quite often.

Teachers seek for new information on daily basis so as to deliver to their respective students, but where do this knowledge end? It will at the end of the day be shared to you the husband and the kids too. And because it is both their passion and profession, you are guaranteed to learn some new and interesting goodies. Teachers will feed your stomach, your ‘other’ thing and your brain too, what a complete human being you will be? Nurses will only monitor your health, secretaries will only be interested on your records while lawyers will always subject you to some series of judgments on what is wrong or right in your relationship.

3.     Always with the kids

If you spent six to seven hours of your day with kids, you'd learn how to take creativity to a whole new level. Kids are inspired and moved by creativity, so they need the type who can think quickly on their feet.

I’m sure men will feel happy if they got someone who will always spend time with the kids. Teachers win once again. They will at the end of the day be at home with the kids; they will too spend their weekends at home, isn’t this great opportunity to monitor, train and even guide the kids? Yeah worry less she will also be there for you all this time though Sunday evening might always be your worst moment.

4.      Teachers can charm parents

They meet with them a lot, and know how to put people at ease. Date a teacher, and you won’t have to stress about the inevitable meet-the-parents dinner. From the day they enter into their first teaching job, teachers are forced to learn how to handle parents. If they can win over the parent who thinks their kid is the greatest thing since sliced bread, then your new partner will have your mom and dad like putty in his hand before the first round of cocktails are even finished

5.     Teachers are great with kids. So if you’re looking for the parent of your future kids, a teacher is a great candidate.

If you had a crush on a teacher as a youngster, now’s your chance to finally date one legally.

STAGE –MANAGED MUSO EDITOR IN THIEF INTERVIEW??

BY KIPRONO WILLY


The said interview for the post of Editor in Chief in the 30th SGC was a sham as well as a choreographed and stage managed theatrics of appointing an already claimed seat in the 30th SGC.
The call of equality and fairness in the process was a mere formality of presenting an exercise well done to the Dean of students. For instance, how can one applicant be asked ten questions and takes more than ten minutes while another applicant is asked 3 questions and takes less than three minutes during the interview. It is a white lie or let me say lies called truth.
We might say we are headed for days of doom, since ZIKISISM is already hitting a dead end and they haven't started delivering.
The panelists made of failed aspirants in the just concluded MUSO elections, seemed like a sinister motive to reward unsatisfied souls, say rubbing somebody’s back with butter. This as evidenced by the screenshot (Insert) has led to discord which resulted to sensitive revelations from some of the panelists, who aired their displeasure with the whole process which they purport was compromised.
It is a fact that the 30th SGC is occupying an empty office, an organization that is now heading to its roots but betrayed by history as a failed union of money laundering and making unfulfilled proposals. The leadership of this great university is certainly lagging, we students vote on tribal lines, our so called leaders are neither equipped to handle welfare issues or deliver on the manifestos they never had.
The 29th SGC never delivered to the comrades but perhaps they did move the "stage" outside the university. We now have to trek .Talk of the long walk to freedom.
Let you not be fooled nor lead in oblivion. Be wise and seek the truth, know your rights and speak your mind. I envision a burial for MUSO, if it is not saved by the current SGC, we will all attend the burial of MUSO since we are all at the burial site.
The organization is surely not independent, that is why we comrades cannot be defended. Remember the famous "Omondi-9", they went home since nobody defended them. Do not be surprised if no election pledges will be achieved. Weep not, for we are an already mourning institution.

Equity Bank launches Campus prepaid card at Maseno University.

 By kiprono Willy

Equity Bank has launched a MasterCard branded prepaid card for use by Maseno University students as it deepens its foray in cashlite agenda through University’s e-payment systems.

 The campus prepaid card will help the students to receive their HELB loans, reduce the risks involved in handling cash and embrace e-payment platforms during transactions.
“For a long time, students have longed for an opportunity to easily manage their money and track their expenditure.  As a Bank, we partnered with universities to provide a prepaid campus card that is secure, reliable and convenient to use on any university’s e-payment platform.  Students will minimize the risk of handling hard cash, easily track their expenses and fulfil a greater need for budgeting and financial planning,” said Priscilla Owuor, Equity Bank’s Senior Manager, Payments, during the launch at Maseno University Kisumu city Campus.
The Deputy Vice-Chancellor for Student Affairs & Academics at Maseno University, Prof. Mary Kipsat said the smart card will go a long way in making operations of the university very efficient. “Our students will be able to pay fees, access goods and services at supermarkets, Equity agent outlets and ATMs worldwide.  In this way Maseno University students will avoid the risk associated with carrying cash in their pockets, wallets and bags,” said Prof. Kipsat. 
The Bank has leveraged on technology to offer improved cash management services, payment security, and increased accountability aimed at improving efficiency and reducing operational risks in higher learning institutions.
Students Organization of Maseno University, SOMU President Bonface Oduory hailed the Campus Card as a noble idea that other universities will find it necessary to adopt.  “As the nation and the world goes digital, we as students need to embrace this technology so that with this one card you get a Student Identity Card, pay for your Tuition, pay for day-to-day Purchases, access the Library and stay updated through your mobile phone” he said.
Equity Bank has also signed up other universities and institutions of higher learning with the digital multiple-wallet cards platform for tuition fees, pay for meals, accommodation and receive pocket money. In addition, students will have access to cash through multiple channels including ATMs, branches, Equity Agents, Mobile money and online through EFT transfers.

by matt son sang

The truth is, Kenyans are no longer speaking in one accord reason being we are divided by our tribal differences. I’m personally longing for that time when Kenya will have one tribe that is being a Kenyan. We fought well for our independence after suffering in the hands of the colonial man. We fought to death against racism, we made it but now we have imprisoned ourselves again with another enemy called tribalism.
To some extent, I blame our leaders but before they are brought to question, we followers have to put the blame on ourselves. Why should we suffer at the ground yet our leaders are busy loading their tummies, why don’t we come together and abide to what is beneficial to us. I leave it for you to brainstorm. Every community in Kenya has its own pride as well as a contribution to this country in one way or another. Kenya does not depend on one community to be successful. This gives a summary to some of the reasons why Kenyans should never discriminate their fellow Kenyans on the basis of tribe.
N/B at least one tribe is picked to cover other unmentioned related groups.

1. The kikuyu and the Bantu communities contribute highly to the economy of this country. That is why we should always support them as long as we are Kenyans and the growth of Kenyan economy affects us as Kenyans.

1. As a Kenyan, I’m always proud of the Maasai community irrespective of it being or not being my community. If Africans can be proud, why not the people from the house?. How many people have with them bed covers, clothes and even bangles made by the Maasai people? We have no choice but to unite with them.

1. As Kenyans, we need the Kalenjin community to represent us in various sports activities in the world. Kenya has been recognized in various parts of the world due to a very respectable performance in sports. The likes of Kipchoge Keino, Janet chepkoskei, Ezekiel Kemboi and our recent champion Julius Yego only to mention a few. When they crossed the finishing lines, Kenyans were happy, Kenyans cried and too Kenyans felt the essence of being Kenyans it was not about being another tribe. The spirit of oneness.

1. The Luo and the Luhya community are known to produce the best professors in Kenya. We need intellects, we need lecturers and we need to invest in education to move out of the bracket of third world countries. Kenya is proud of president of the United States, a man from Kisumu, everyone is proud of him despite our tribal differences. This reflects the potential of unity we possess but some of us take it for granted. We must speak one language and say no to tribalism.

1. Kenyans from Kisii community also play a crucial role that cannot be undermined whatsoever. Soap stones, carvings, basketry and pottery are and will always remain the pride of Africa thanks to the Kisii community. If African counties brag because of you why not a fellow Kenyan, we are one. This community also has the most heavily represented Kenyans in foreign countries for example in Indian and American universities get this right ‘Kenyans’ not ‘Kisiis’. Keep on representing Kenyans.

1.  We must be proud also as Kenyans to have the Kamba people, the only people considered to be premier martial race, sharp shooters by the British colonial government. They played a role which should never be overlooked when Kenya was fighting for independence. Don’t also forget the beautiful ladies within the Kamba land, they represent Kenya at large.

1. When I mention Njuri Ncheke some Kenyans will shout eeeh! But not necessarily the Ameru people, just because everyone is proud to hear that. Ncheke’s shrine is gazetted as a heritage site and placed under the care of national museums of Kenya, the question is why it is placed under the museums of Kenya and not of Ameru yet they are the community?  Simple we are Kenyans and we share what we have for every individual to fit as a coherent whole.

1. W can’t also do without Cushitic communities, Somali, Boran, Rendile and others. When I see these people I see hena, when I see these people I see Mo Farah winning the Olympic world champion distance runner, they play a vital role as Kenyans.

1. Other Kenyan communities also kept their traditional lifestyles which will always make Kenya proud. Turkana, Samburu and other sister tribes are known for this. As long as I’m a Kenyan I will remember Paul Ereng, Ekwe Ethuro, Ajuma Nasenyama and many other people who will always put the name Kenya on top irrespective of their tribes.

1. What about the coastal Bantus? Swahili, Mijikenda, Taita and many others. As Kenyans we have to respect these people. Their great Agricultural skills have contributed so much to this country. We can’t brag and walk away from these communities who own our ‘lugha ya taifa’ that is Kiswahili language which is spoken in the whole of Eastern Africa.

Each community in Kenya is important in one way or the other. Tribalism will end when we stop looking our names as Kenyans, when every community will respect another community, when every community understands the significance of the other community, when as Kenyans, we reflect back to where we’ve come from, this is when tribalism will be buried and forgotten forever.

Convenience for a future

Over the last few days, discussions have been taking place in anticipation of the 14th United Nations Conference on Trade and Development. This is the second time the conference is taking place in Kenya but
this time it is different. The Kenya of today is hungry and yearning for development. Our Kenyan delegation is not only made of those in Government but also the Private Sector and Civil Society, influencing decision makers on key areas of investment and driving public private partnerships.

The Internet

The best of all possible worlds would be for computers and the Internet to become part, and probably only a small part, of a thriving academy of motivated learners whose time in cyberspace is significantly exceeded by time spent reading, visiting interesting places and people, having fascinating conversations, helping their peers, developing their  physical and artistic talents, and enjoying life.

CONTRACEPTIVES

The use of contraceptives is rampant among sexually active teenagers.

Majority of these teenagers, who are not ready to abstain, are taking these drugs to prevent early and unwanted pregnancies.

Health experts have cautioned adolescents against abuse of contraceptive pills, saying health complications could be dire.

There is a new crop of parents, especially mothers, put their daughters on birth control pills, with the view that it would be safe and a long lasting solution to shame associated with unplanned pregnancies.

I call upon parents to advice their children, especially daughters on the dangers of continuous use of pills.

They are likely to interfere with their fertility, which might haunt them when they desire to start their own families.

I am challenging the youth to practice safe sex or abstain all together.

Parents, guardians and all stakeholders should sensitise the teenagers on proper sexual behaviour to avert further damage. 

The World Hates Ugly People

The next time someone asks you to live long enough to blow a thousand candles, shoot them.

Old age sucks. When you are a 99-year-old, toothless, has-been snoring in the backyard in diapers, everyone, including yourself, starts wondering what the heck you are still doing around here.

You can’t enjoy a cigarette. A stiff shot of whisky would send you straight to the morgue. You have no teeth for chewing fatty roast meat. And the young pretty lass with a firm behind walking down the road could as well be a goat. Of what use is life then?

But in the unfortunate event that you live that long, and assuming that you retain a brain cell or two for memory, you will discover there are four things you haven’t seen: An ugly bride, an ugly baby, an ugly pastor and an ugly president.

We hate ugly people. That is the truth. You will never hear it whispered in a church, mosque or witchdoctor’s hut, but humanity discriminates against ugly people more than it scorns (at least in Africa) gays, women, integrity and clean public toilets.

Have you ever seen women swooning around an ugly baby, posing for photos, giving it lipstick-coloured double pecks and perfumed hugs?

I suspect ugly babies are hidden from sight, in the manner children with severe disability are tucked away in the darkest room of the house and only whispered about.

It isn’t that easy to make an ugly baby anyway. Boys in the estate don’t hover around the gate where the worst-looking broad in the neighbourhood lives. They don’t chase her like a pack of salivating wolves, even if she has a brain the size of a tractor engine.

Even before the Stone Age, it was always that girl with sleepy eyes. The one with juicy lips. The one with long legs, a sculpted butt and breasts so full they were to blame for all the bent lampposts on the road. All of the 40 boys in the estate would go chasing Sheila everywhere, but not that sorry-looking lass who was christened Anaconda by her daft mum after something she saw on television.

Go back to your school days. Teachers pet, remember? He or she was always tiny and so pretty or handsome it hurt. They always smelt fresh, even after fooling around on the pitch after school break. Clean clothes, fresh breath, not a hair out of place. Oooh, how Teacher loved them!